Gypsy, I am so sorry you lost your husband, Les. After only a month, I am not surprised at how you feel. When my first husband died aged 49 in '93 (from a heart attack) I went through the physical actions of coping but was off the planet emotionally and mentally as I felt I had lost half of myself. Two years down the track I finally got some grief counselling at the local hospital. Even now 19 years later I can still have a little weep at times. He was a wonderful man and deserves every tear that fell for him. Feel what you feel, cry when you must, talk it out to whom you can, maybe gather photos or keepsakes and make a collage or album or something special. Slowly and gently over time things will change and you will feel whole again and stronger. Do an on-line search 'coping with grief and loss' and find some information that is sure to help. Warm hugs of comfort, Pamela (((hugs))) ... View more

Dear Gypsy, the Puppy is a great idea, great company & so loving. I will be thinking of you. Travel safe. Alison xxx ... View more

Well that is the end of the journey for me..my lovely husband passed away in Fremantle hospital on May 1st.2012. He is at peace at last and out of that dreadful pain,it has been very hard going when we arrived here in Perth, I seem to know Armadale and Fremantle hospital like the back of my hand. He just got progressively weaker and sicker and I finally called an ambulance to take him to hospital when he was no longer feeling like eating and could no longer stand. They (Fremantle Hospital) tried putting a stent down into the oesphageaus to help him swallow, but it was unsucessful and kept moving around.After 14 days in hospital he was losing weight rapidly , on the day before his death I had spent the whole day at the hospital, cutting his nails, shaving him, bathing him etc. so deep down I suspect I knew that something was happening, the next day I decided for some unexplained reason to catch a train to the hospital and not drive, thank goodness I did as I don't think I could have driven home to our sons place again. I was about three stations from Fremantle when the hospital rang and said he was becoming unresponsive, I said I would be there shortly and prayed he would hold on, I immediately rang our son at work and told him and he said he was on the way.I ran like a mad woman through the street from the station and got to his room, I told him I was there and he squeezed my hand, I begged him to hold on till our son got there and I rang my daughter in Sydney and told her to say goodbye to her Dad, she was really distraught as she and the three grandkids were arriving in a couple of days to see her Dad and Pop. Our son arrived soon after and we both held either hand, the staff could not have been nicer and did all they could to ease his suffering, I finally said to him it was time to go and ease his pain, finally after a few more minutes he passed away. To this day 2 weeks later it is all very surreal, even though we have had the funeral and a lovely little memorial service where the grandkids wrote notes and threw flowers in the ocean I still cannot believe it is finished, I keep thinking "Oh I must get Les to fix that or Oh I must let Les know that" we were one month short of our 40th wedding anniversary and I have lost my best friend. The main hurtful part has been the lack of any communication with his family, a family I never thought I had any problem with, when my son rang Les's only sister, her reaction was "I can't afford to fly to Perth"..no one was asking them to fly anywhere, but we did not even have a chance to say when I return to the East coast maybe we could have a small memorial there. Well as far as I am concerned their brother and Uncle would have been devastated at their lack of compassion for myself and his children, however that is their problem not ours. I now have the unenviable task of towing the caravan and car back to the East coast, I am leaving in a week or two and that way I can be closer to my daughter and grand children, and then may be able to map out my own future. He was only 66 years young and we had so much to do and see it is just not right. ... View more

It seems to be the norm for people with cancer to be moody, grumpy, and pretty much selfish. Everyone seems to blame on the medication such as Dex/steroid. My partner has brain tumour and been taking Dex for the past few months. I think Dex on it own is bad enough and causes him mood swing. However, the whole experience of facing the reality that he could be gone in a year make it worse. My partner wasn't feeling well for 2 months - Jan & Feb this year during his 3rd & 4th round of chemo. He was quite grumpy and angry as he was frustrated by the tiredness and being generally unwell. Then, in early March we discovered that his brain tumour has grown back. He became very demanding and self centred. It's always about him only. It was like nothing I did was good enough. One morning I didn't feel well and needed a rest, he was very grumpy and demanding more than usual and I just couldn't be bother to play being a submissive girlfriend so I completely ignored him for the next 24 hours even though he kept telling me how unhappy he was with me. Strangely, the next morning we discussed about our feeling and since then he was nicer than anything in the past few weeks. I guess people with cancer need to be told that we may not completely understand how they feel but we try to do our best to support them. At the same time, they should understand that we also suffer from the whole experience and the possibility of losing someone that we love. It's just not right for them to punish/abuse us with their frustration and bitterness. ... View more

Sounds like you are both in a happier head space for the time being. Enjoy your time together & treasure your time on the road. I believe that the outdoors has a great feel to it. My surgery is apparently in 5 weeks time. :-) ... View more

I am so sorry that you and your husband are going through this. I would ring for the blood test results because I would be curious ,even if the oncologist will not be reviewing the situation for a while . Still, I can understand why you will wait. When his gp is back there may be something that can be done to help relieve his symptoms. At least the gp is more readily available for advice. ... View more

HI Gypsy I have the same cancer as your husband but fortunately for me they caught it at stage 3 and I have just had the operation to rearrange my digestive system so they could remove what was left to the tumour. When I actually got my diagnosis my eating drinking had become so poor in fact to the extent that I was throwing up saliva and at this stage had lost 24 kgs in weight. The doctors tried various methods of feeding me including gastric nasal tubes but anything that went into my stomach came back up in the end they took me into surgery and inserted a JJ tube which fed me directly into my duodenum bypassing my stomach completely but this enabled me to obtain the nutrition I needed ot be able to cope with the chemo. Quite a sight walking in there with my own machines. After about 4 weeks of chemo and using this method of feeding I started to get my appetite back and prior to my op I was eating properly and off the feeding tube. It was amazing how much better I felt about the whole situation once I had the energy to get around from using this tube. May be worth being persistent with the doctors and ask about options in order to build up his strength. Hope this helps Kasianne ... View more

Hi Gypsy, I so wish that there was a magic pill to make things easier for you both. Never apologise about ranting here - this is the place for it. Take care, S ... View more

Hi BJS Yes he is on a clinical trial, he had a 7 hour session last Thursday and they gave him a whole lot of the chemo to bring home that I cannot touch as it is harmful, he has to take these every day morning and night,well I tell you they have hit him hard he can barely get out of bed and alternates between throwing up and taking anti nausea tablets has not had the diarea and the constipation has worked out now but he is ready to give up already as the drugs are really hurting. For a man that has never taken any drugs in this volume he has been hit bad,I keep in touch with the clinical nurse and she said all the doctor says is to rest. We have another appt.to day for another dose intravenously so they had better have some answers. Thank you for bothering to keep in touch after your loss Jill ... View more