Dear Diana69 you are carrying such a heavy burden and it is so sad. You are a very strong person to be able to manage yourself like you are. I admire you for your courage. Keep being strong and supportive. ... View more

Feeling helpless is normal. It's can be very stressful, especially if you care about him and want to "fix" things. All you can really do is comfort him. When dad was sick, I used to make cups of soup for him and watch TV. Just keeping him company kept his thoughts from becoming so despairing. My dad was more "human" in a sense when he deteriorated. It was like all the emotional walls of abruptness, business, etc crumbled and deep within was this beautiful but vulnerable soul who just enjoyed life. We watched motor racing, he had plans for building a model yacht, which never eventuated. He would quote facts about the RAAF in which he served and loved. And above all, he had no regrets.   Hope this helps. ... View more

I know what you mean, I’ve helped out with my husband since last April. I am the designated driver, and have helped keep everything sanitary and organized , home, food, bills, his Dr appts, his questions on his health problems etc, his medications etc.. sine last April. You have nothing to be guilty about, it’s important you make time for yourself to do your hobbies or run errands, exercise or socialize. Let him know it’s nothing against him..( mine acts similarly but has always been that way.j. You’ll feel so much better if you make time for just yourself. It usually will help you deal with things a little better..( it’s still hard, I know) My spouse is luckily doing better now, adjuvant chemo is working ok for him..he’s physically doing much better ( he’s never been in hardly any pain, thank goodness) so far so good., he seems about 95% back to normal.. Talking with a counselor could be an option tp help you lighten the load a little. I wish you the best, you are not alone. ... View more

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m new to this site and it’s April 4, 2024. I hope things are better now. ... View more

It's important to have time to yourself (or with friends) away from her. That anxiety will cripple you in the long run. It did with me. Mum had bladder cancer 2 years ago for a year on and off. Then 1 year of treatment afterwards. It's common for friends to keep their distance. Usually because they were never really friends, but rather acquaintances. That's what mum found. Sometimes support comes from the strangest people (hairdresser, cosmetics rep, ec. ) though. Friends who walk away aren't what I call support. ... View more

Hi David  major surgery with bladder removal is my urologist preferred option now, however not a path I want to take. Chemo is only the first choice for muscle invasive bladder cancer, BCG immunotherapy is definitely right way to go for non invasive, it worked 99% for me and my team were so happy that it had worked so well for my ureter. I have no pain and are well and more than happy to do nothing, but will do the chemo, more for my husband  questions!! I never know what to ask  thanks for kind words and good wishes to mum  ... View more

Hey David. Don't beat yourself up. You and your mum have been through a lot. Cancer is horrible for everyone and it takes a while to get over it. You have been there for your mum through her journey with cancer and that is fantastic. You need a bit of time to be yourself and I hope that you get it. Be proud of yourself David, because I am proud of you. ... View more

Hi Gail77, If you want to read a lot more reviews on this subject. Look at SteveC version on this site about this. I think there are 93 replys to his blog. Take care everyone Cheers. Type in SteveC  Had cancer got no friends. ... View more

It's only normal to get angry. It's the  nature of the illness though. No test if 100% accurate. My dad experienced the same thing with prostate cancer. Just try and concentrate on things you can control. ... View more

You don't fully know who your friends are until something goes wrong with you. A true friend would have stood by us and supported us, not criticized us. A good  friend would not have blamed us (Mum and I) for Dad's death. ... View more