1 month on

[maddie86]

So its been one month since my beautiful man earnt his wings early... and to be honest ive been feeling ok considering. Its almost like i feel like im doing something wrong because i have been ok.. dont get me wrong im not runing along picking daisys but im not in bed crying my eyes out every single day... i do still have those days but i feel like i want to see life now.. if anything he taught me to stop moping around and start living. I feel so sad when i see his photo or soo very sad seeing our wedding pictures but then i can hear him say 'come on you'l be ok'.. if anything good was to come out of this awful situation is that life is to short! i really hope 2013 brings me nothing but happiness... i know there will be days when i wont be happy and i will miss him like crazy but i just want to be happy from now on.. im only 26 but feel as if ive aged 20 years! i hope everyone on here has a better year next year.. it seem like everyone i know has had something happen this year... not the best year! xoxox

[Jules2]

Maddie I think you are amazing and incredibly resilient. Even through all of your bad times you have always offered to be there for others and that just shows a enormous depth of character. I wish you much happiness for 2013! I am glad you learnt from your husband to live life as that is what it is for and we all should be doing that as best we can with whatever time we have left. :) Julie xo

[maddie86]

thank you julie 🙂 i hope that 2013 is a better year for everyone on here! i hope you have many happy moments xox

[Rubes1984]

Hi Maddie Its great to see that you are still here, you've picked urself up from a very dark place and are beginning to heal (its just the start of a long journey ahead). What an incredibly hard thing to do!!!!!! I totally agree with Julie that you are amazing and very resilient - an inspiration for us all. May 2013 bring you peace and happiness! Rubes

[maddie86]

thank you!! 🙂 i hope you have a great night tonight and that 2013 is a better year! xxxx

[little_stitcher]

Dear Maddy you are living my nightmare (and 10 years younger, too). I love your attitude, and wish you nothing but good things for 2013. May you have joyful suprises every day. Emily. x

[Melanie]

Maddie, the others have said it perfectly! You are amazing, such strength, you give me hope! You will continue on, and you will love again, but you will never forget him or the things he taught you. May 2013 bring good things to you!

[maddie86]

thank you melanie... i never honestly thought id get to a stage in my life today where i would be ok.. when my partner was dying i thought i was dying to... the day he died i was in shock and thought 'i can handle this' but afterwards i really was horrible.. i felt sick myself and screamed and cried it was horrible! But i feel as if now i can sit down and breathe for once in my life without the dreaded cancer hanging over my head.. i miss him but i dont miss his cancer... it really does take time and i think if i am ok in a month then hopefully a year on i'l be much better! Things do get better in time! xo