Blogs - Page 116

I feel as though I am in a dream. I so wish that my family were all together again; mum, dad & siblings all under the same roof. Mum's hearty dinners and dad's practical jokes. Family ABBA dance routines and trips to the beach to swim, play and collect seashells. Whenever I attempt to 'move on' I feel guilty - as though I am trying to replace mum's memory.

I wrote in middle of November that I thought Stuarts journey was nearly over, well what the hell would I or anyone else know!!!! Stuart went into hospital at the end of October and the palliative care team thought he had a week or 2 left, a month on the outside.

dont know how ppl really do this.. i feel like im dying.. my husband of one month passed a little over two weeks ago and i feel like im getting worse not better... how do u do this? i try and get out and do this and that but i feel so achey sore all the time everything is such an effort for me... i feel panicky and when i think of my future without him in overwheelms me.. im so tired of this fucked up feeling! i thought itd be easier knowing he was dying but i was wrong.. i feel so awful 😞

I have been diagnosed with tonsil and lymth node cancer i have been told the worse that is going to happen with radiation and i am scared and really have no one to talk to about it, i start my radiation this coming monday 10th December and was wondering if anyone has had this and the radiation and if it is as bad as they say it is i am also having chemo once a week, i am going to Peter Mac in melbourne which i know is the best i guess i need someone to talk to if you have had this and can talk to me that would be nice.

Having only started looking at this site and blogs, I am amazed by the experiences of others. I feel like a whining child, ( despite being an adult). Watching dad die is harder than when I or mum had cancer, we survived, whereas he won't. But the time spent with him is very special. The health system is amazing and extremely frustrating. Battling with the system, when time should be spent with dad has astonished me, new t it all I guess.

Can grief actually come out physically and make you sick? I have days when im so restless and feel all sweaty and hot and cold but have no fever.. also feel like im going to vomit and have to keep running to the loo... it feels terrible but there's actually nothing really wrong with me i think... i role around trying to get cool then im hot then i feel like getting up is a mission and a half... 😞