Hi Cat1277,
I am so glad even tho it’s under the worst circumstances we could ever imagine. I totally get that they have the Cancer, but we are the next in line without the cancer. It’s weird and I totally get that they take their anger out on the ones they know love them and they love, bc they know we won’t leave them. But what is more hurtful is to see them be nice to someone else and treat me like a disposable piece of 💩 POOP. I think I cried many days and nights. I spoke to one of my husbands friends and he said that he saw a few guys at work, that had seen my husband come in. That he was sitting and talking to them and cheerful. I started bawling. He said what’s the matter Traci. I said omg he is nice to everyone else but me. It’s nice to know it selective. He must hate me! Steve assured me it wasn’t me, which I’m not sure I was really assured, but went along with it. He said tell him. At this time my husband was also on steroids, which we didn’t know changed his temper quite quickly. Anyways once the dr’s noticed and weened him off the steroids, I could see him slowly coming back and not as short fused. Listen we are all scared to argue and upset our loved one who is just diagnosed with cancer. But we cannot be beaten verbally or emotionally by them and function best for them, our kids, life outside the house and unfortunately we come last and probably allow ourselves a few minutes to have a quick cup of coffee and maybe a quick shower ( no makeup or hair blow out) I have become the quickest hair sleeker backer in the world with wet hair. 😂 haha! Listen if you don’t speak out they aren’t mind readers. They are going thru so much are scared and most in pain. But I will say it again, I will not be treated like 💩 giving all my love and devotion to my husband or anyone. I am not selectively picking what I will and won’t do for them, so why is my loved one selectively choosing to be nice to everyone but me. Ya that is not happening anymore. I have to make clear, once removed from steroids he has been more loving and thankful for me. We communicate and most of all we love each other. I wouldn’t change a damn thing, except my husbands diagnosis of course. But not just the Cancer patient goes thru steps of acceptance, we the caretakers do to. It’s ok to yell at your spouse or loved one with cancer when they are treating you like this. It won’t break them, but actually might wake them up. I screamed at my husband told him I’m gonna stay at my moms took my keys and left, that obviously I make him so mad/ stressed out and that he treats me like he hates me. So I will come home take care of him, and if he speaks to me nasty I will leave with a clear piece of mind. Well that’s when he realized and apologized. Listen there is no right or wrong way other than treating the ones we love and care for us daily weather we are sick or not like 💩 poop!!! They deserve the best care, and we can only give them our best when we aren’t beaten down, deflated or or emotionally beaten down. It’s ok for them to be sad, we are sad about the situation also. Believe me I will put all my stuff out there, it hasn’t been a cake walk, as a wife, mother and caregiver. But I love my husband and want him to be cured, I couldn’t picture a life without him. I think of our three Gorgo kids who deserve to have their dad here watching them grow, marry and help raise our grandchildren as planned. Life is not easy and it doesn’t come with directions on life 101. So love today, more than yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow. ❤️
