Hi Traci-Renee, sorry for not replying sooner. just when I thought life was on the road to healing and finding how to live again my world got turned upside down.
due to unexpected unpleasantness from my late husbands only sibling I moved out of my father-in-laws home, where we had been staying since Jan 2020, and returned to my home. my late husbands birthday and mine are two days apart, 24 and 26 May. I was on leave from work over those days and spent both days on my own packing and moving my items back home. since my late husbands funeral I have seen my eldest step son 3 times, the last time was for less than 45mins. he literally came to my home to collect items that his dad had said he wanted him to have.
I adopted 2 rescued kittens in July and they are the main thing that keeps me going each day. First few months back at home life was surreal. about 4 to 6 weeks prior to Christmas I feel like I have started grieving. feel so alone ...... feel like I have lost my self confidence. some days I have no energy or interest to do anything. to try to give myself some thing to do, I have recently potted up some small raised garden beds but have no interest to pot up the rest of the ones I have bought. some days even the smallest thing has been feeling scared and all the 'what if' scenarios run through my mind.
I have spoken to a counsellor who has explained these are all normal feeling and reactions but knowing that doesn't stop my tears
