July 2013
Thanks so much for joining, Claire, it's so good to hear from people who want to offer support. It it really hard, too, because I think we all want to wave a magic wand for the people we love, and make everything better. It's hard to accept that this isn't possible. It's also hard to accept that we can't say anything to make people feel better; most of the time, with cancer, there is no 'feeling better'.
But as careers and supporters, I don't think that's our job. The best and most helpful thing we can do is just to be there, and listen if the person feels like talking. This sounds simple, but it's really hard, because it emphasizes just how little we can do to help (but worrying about that is concentrating on our needs, not the needs of the people we're trying to help).
You could also ask your friend how you could help them, or, alternatively, offer a couple of suggestions of things you could do for them. Mundane stuff like housework and administration still has to go ahead at such times, so doing something that you may even think is too dull or small to be useful can actually be a godsend. While my husband was going through chemotherapy, a group of church friends got together and supplied us with a couple of reheatable meals a week. 2 years later, I still appeciate it, and remember what a difference it made to a bad day.
I think the main thing, though, is just to let them know that you care, in whatever way you think is best. Dealing with cancer can be very lonely, so having friends express their love is amazingly uplifting.
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July 2013
I'm currently sitting in my in-laws living room (in England),watching one of my favorite tv shows. My husband (19 months in remission from NHL) is engrossed in a facebook game, with one eye on the TV. He's waiting to hear back about a job interview he had today. (More on that below) It is such a tranquil time, and not something I could have imagined 2 years ago, while we were going through his chemo. I wanted to share it to hopefully encourage everyone who is currently doing it tough.
The last few months haven't been unblemished (he got retrenched 10 days before we were due to go on his long service leave - 9 weeks overseas, over 4 countries), so I've had to learn the rude fact that the world continues to turn, even when I think it should stop. However, I'm also learning that we are able to join it again; I'm now picking up and following threads of my old life, taking them in new directions, and adding some new ones in as well. With great thankfulness and suprise, I'm able to say I'm happy.
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July 2013
HI Tammy, I'm 37, and have been on HRT for 17 years with no problems at all, so take heart! It can take a bit of trial and error to find a regimen that fills your needs (I take separate oestrogen and progesterone tablets, to get the exact dose that suits me), so don't be afraid to go back to your doctor and ask them to tweak your drugs if you're not feeling great at first.
I don't know much about non-supplement symptom relief, but a good pharmacist might be able to help you with that. I have seen vitamin supplements etc. for this in supermarkets, so it might be worth looking there, too. Good luck, and feel free to ask me any questions! love Emily
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July 2013
Such great news! It really is the small things that make all the difference- enjoy discovering them!! love Emily
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July 2013
Hi Melanie, I'm hoping great things for you! The waiting's really hard, isn't it. Hang in there, I'm looking forward to hearing from you on Wednesday. love Emily
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June 2013
Hi Lars, I'm in a slightly different situation from you (my 42 year old husband is in remission from non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.) but thought I'd say hi. We found The Warwick Foundation to be a great source of support through his treatment and afterward. They are a charity devoted to people aged 25-40 who have cancer. They have a peer support program called "Mates in My Shoes", which aims to match up people with similar demographics and similar cancers, so they can support each other. The website is "www.thewarwickfoundation.org" if you want to have a look (They're based in Melbourne, but operate all over Australia). This website is also a great resource for support and information.
Good luck with everything! I imagine Hodgkin's and non-Hodgkin's lymphomas are fairly different, so I don't know if my experiences will aid you at all; but I can tell you that my husband has been in remission for nearly 2 years now, and we're currently having a 2 month overseas holiday, which would have been unimaginable 18 months ago. Take things day by day (such a cliche, but still so true), and one day soon you'll look back and be amazed at how far you've come.
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June 2013
What a truckload to deal with! I'm so sad that all this has happened to you and your family. Remember to be kind and patient with yourself as you deal with all this- if you find it overwhelming (and who wouldn't!), counselling may help give you more coping mechanisms. Sending you cyber-hugs, love Emily
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May 2013
Thanks Rosie. I guess I have to remember that while I've changed, my church has not; and even the pastoral care staff do not truly understand what my husband and I have been through.
I'd love to hear about your church, too. love Emily
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May 2013
Thanks Rosie. I guess I have to remember that while I've changed, my church has not; and even the pastoral care staff do not truly understand what my husband and I have been through.
I'd love to hear about your church, too. love Emily
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