I am sorry to hear about thatm stay strong and positive! Take charge and plan as much as possible to prevent last-minute emergencies. This can also help provide a sense of control and order. ... View more

Hope you are doing okay now, sanitize and eat healthy all the time! get well ... View more

Nice love sustagen! ♥ ... View more

Thanks for the informative post. This is helpful. I did not of this lynch syndrome until I came across your post. thanks ... View more

Hi @ellafrances ,   It sounds like your Dad is overwhelmed by all of the sudden bad news and is giving up before entering into battle. While he is struggling to deal with the mental challenge, he will not be able to take on the physical challenges. You must find a way to get him to open up and share his emotions so that he can make rational decisions and move forward, one way or the other...   My brother died from oesophageal cancer at 63. But he had no fight in him. He had lost his wife to emphysema a few years previous and he was always struggling financially. He had a big loving family, but no really close friends of his own. I believe that he considered that the battle with cancer was simply not worth the effort.    At 72, all going well with treatment (and this may be overly optimistic, but not impossible) your Dad could have another 25 years left in him. Your challenge is to find the trigger/s to make him debate (with himself) whether or not the battle with cancer is worth the pain and effort. He may need to talk with others who have managed to win their battle to appreciate what could be and at what cost. And then he needs to let those around him know what he has decided. This internal debate needs to happen quickly because doing nothing will force his hand.   If he decides to take the challenge, then family need to be there to assist him with his battle. And he needs to let you know how hard you can push him - and that may change day to day. But all the time, there is a vision of that bright light at the end of the tunnel.   But if, after considering all that lies ahead,  he wants to give in, then that it is his choice. Forcing him to do things that he considers to be prolonging his suffering will just cause tension and conflict. All you can do in that situation is to help him get to the end in as little discomfort as possible, reminding him (without nagging) of much he is loved and how much he will be missed.    Best wishes to your Dad, you and your family.   Big hugs to all, Rick ... View more

You are right. Once time has mitigated some of the pain I will be able to look back and be grateful to know I was with her when she passed.  I am so sorry you could not be there with her. Your sadness is justified.    I know you are going though the same thing as my sister who couldn't come because she is a nurse and was infected with the COVID virus. The only thing I could comfort her with was that our mom was not alone. I'm not sure if it helped her to know that or if she was just saying that to make me feel better. But, I hope it give her some comfort.    I want to say you shouldn't blame yourself. But I can't. I blame myself for not doing more.  My mom and I were never close in the conventional sense. It was only the last few years that we became closer. I whish I called her more; visited her more. But life gets in the way of such things and then you feel regrets. And I think that's O.K. This isn't the only regret I have and I have leaned from them so I don't repeat them.    It's O.K. to feel sad. We should feel sad. But we can't stay in sadness forever.  I don't know you mother, but I know my mom would want me to linger in grief too long. She would want me to remember the good days we had. If your mom was like my mom, she would want the same for you.  When you're ready.      ... View more

Hi Deb1. I feel the same. My husband passed away last July & I have moved 5 hours away from where we lived to be closer to my brothers. I too find the days alright, but at night I'm so lonely. Since I've been by myself I tend to go to bed really late so I'm so tired I will go to sleep quickly. I made a decision when I arrived that I would not have a drink unless I was with other people & I don't miss it. Give it a go. Linda8 ... View more

Hey Lesley,   Im am sorry for your loss. My condolences.  It must have been really dark days in the end.  Believe in yourself. You can. There is Always light. I lost both my parents in my early 20’s (now im 28). I can say with confidence that i deal with it well now. I want to help people like us and maybe you feel like replying two simple questions. It might help you to gain some clarity.  Excuse me if it's inappropriate, feel free to ignore. Take care. As someone who lost a parent(s)/ family member, what are the 2 biggest struggles you’re dealing with?  Regarding your loss, what would you wish for more than anything else?  That’s it. I wish you all the best on your journey in life.   ... View more

a life well spent brings happy death so manage your time ❤️ ... View more