I have found that when discussing Rob's cancer with people, I say to them 'We're feeling positive about things'. Past experiences have shown that if I tell people what's really going on, how he's doing or how I'm feeling, things go all awkward, they don't know what to say and it all goes to hell. So I'd rather put on the forced smile, tell them that we're being positive and everyone goes along their merry way. Just easier that way. We're really only honest with family and those really close friends. I love the idea of being hopeful and I think I'll use that from now on. I agree, I've always challenged the 'always positive' mantra as I don't think it's particularly healthy striving to be always positive. We're human, we feel different emotions for a reason and if we weren't scared/angry/hurt facing our own mortality, then you're denying yourself to be human. Life is a rollercoaster and our emotions are the carriage we ride in. ... View more

Cheers and thanks guys! ... View more

Hi Everyone, Ahhhh Dex of the big red head as we refer to it in our house. Sorry but my husband is king of humour deals with everything!!! My husband also had a lot of fatigue. He has just finished 12 out of 12 scheduled treatmeants. Nausea was never much of a problem, but I always tried to schedule a coffee date with friends on disconnect day (which was day 3 for us) so he never felt embarrassed about taking a little kip in the arvo. by the time I had picked up the kids from school and stopped for a phantom supermarket visit, he was refreshed and ready to face the girls. for some reason he felt embarassed about feeling tired. Thursday was day 4 and worse again but I would spend the day with all the paperwork so he could nap at will. I bought him a model helicopter to build also so he could have some down time with a reason. My youngest would help him with that so it was also a good excuse for them to spend time together without being to active. Isnt the section on here for family of people affected by cancer a wonderful support? It is the first place I have found for us to talk with others in the same predicament besides the oncology clinic and they are often to shell shocked or putting on the face to share much. And being able to hear from others who have had or have cancer themselves really really helped me to understand what my hubby was going through. Keep reading Nikki as there is always something to help. Alana ... View more

Ah Sailor, You have a much greater gift than I methinks but I will struggle on. I take heart from the positive images as well. Lots of daffodils tomorrow! Thanks, Samex ... View more

When my little sister, aged 20, was diagnosed with terminal cancer she told me my parents had said to her that I felt guilty I survived my cancer and she would not. I told Kay I never once felt guilty that I survived cancer. What did make me feel bad was that she seemed to be like the proverbial lamb waiting to be slaughtered while I was the intrepid fox who would have gnawed off my own leg to survive. I felt guilty that I was able to deal with my illness with so much more will than she could ever muster, and I wished she could because that WILL is what kept me alive and I wished that much for her for at least as long as possible. She didn't take that view and continued to eat ice cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner and died not too long after. It was her choice, she made it and died the way she wanted -- a big lump of ice cream 🙂 That was a learning curve for me. It was difficult for me to stand by and watch and accept that she had made up her mind to die. Then my good friend Catherine, having just been given the five year all clear from our oncologist, was diagnosed with another primary bc that had already spread to her bones. She was told it is just a matter of quality of life vs quantity now. While many of her friends have disappeared, I have chosen to be by her side all the way. It's very difficult because I keep talking in terms of having a future and choices (as one should), and then I realise what I have said and feel guilty. Then I prod myself and say, 'Just because it may appear I have a future right now doesn't mean I do!' Moments before Catherine had a future now she didn't. Life is like that. Any one of us could be hit by a bus tomorrow. I could live in guilt, it would be rather easy, but I choose to accept the moment for what it is and be thankful I am still here contributing to life. It's the people who are left behind that feel pain - not the ones who have died. On that note, I must dash out. I have to go to Brighton seasisde to get some clothes for my holiday. I hope what I've said makes sense - I was rushing to get it out. No doubt it will make somebody angry or upset... LLx ... View more

Hi Samex, we do all live with the fear of reoccurance it is a day to day thing, I find it especically hard when I get sick all the fears come to the surface. The thing is to not be afraid to go to the doctors , and get all the test you need. Amanda is right it is not about them it is all about us ... View more

Hi all, omg! I thought it was just me! My mother had very little to do with me also, and my father (they are long time divorced) was going around telling everyone (including the mechanic I discovered when I was having my service) how sad it was for him. Yet, I think I saw him once when I was going through treatment and after. I see him less to this day. I don't speak with either of them really. It's a sad situation. I think the trauma of the emotional isolation was more than the treatment. I saw a side to people that was so very raw, and so self absorbed. I was equally totally bemused by people who were "acting like they were all too fantastic to get it". Absolutely shocking for me. Too much, too early (I was 23) I just want to say also, I found the comments above about the guy who wouldn't wear the dressing gown of his dad's quite disturbing. I feel that it would be highly inappropriate to do so. What are people thinking?? ... View more

So I went to the worshop, very friendly ladies. I was unfortunate that I already have very sensitive skin under normal circumstances, but with chemo it is even worse, to the point that I reacted to the first thing I put on my skin. I have to say though that these ladies are very informative, and they really do spoil us, the wigs and scaves are also great to try on and see what you can do with them. I don't need them yet but might later. So Ladies do go if you can, you will have fun. ... View more