Hi there. I maybe know what you are feeling as I think my dad is going through same thing. I speak to him every night and I know he is getting worse every day to the point where he has trouble breathing. But I think he feels that he has to hide that pain from me but he doesn't realize that is not helping me. I want to be there for him but he thinks he can hide his pain from me but he can't. I know he only wants to protect me and I love him for that but I am at a total loss at the moment ... View more

Hi Jods I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Everytime I log onto this site someone else has passed away and I realize I am getting closer too. My dad has oesophageus cancer and even though I ring him every night I know the end is coming- he is having so much trouble breathing-and I don't know how to cope.When you said"now you can breath freely dad" I know what you mean. You are lucky that you have support which I don't.y brothers feel that he is old (83) and it is his time to go. But I can'seee it like that. I think I should call my brothers and remind them that they might have regrets when something happens. At least I will be at peace!!!! as IJJ know I have done all I can to help dad and he knows that as well.Jods please take care of yourself and your mum xoxo Chris ... View more

Hi Katie. So sorry that I haven't been in touch for so long but my dad is really bad and my SIL has lost his dad to pancreatic cancer and my SIL has breast cancer and I am just going day by day. I don't know what to do anymore!!! I will msg u tomorrow xoxo chris ... View more

Hi Barbie.Hope you have a great time with your grandson. I do not have cancer but my dad is terminally ill and the one thing that is getting me through is my 4 grandkids aged 9 6 4 2. I really envy young children as they are so resiliant and can seem to get through more than us adults can. Have a great trip and enjoy grandsons party. Chris ... View more

Hi there. I don't know if you know my story but my 83 ye old dad has oesophageus cancer and lives on his own 6hr train trip away. He has been here with me past 2 weeks and I am so lucky to be able to cook him meals and he is putting on a little weight(4weeks ago weighed45kg) but he is going home on Sat and then will be back to usual(not cooking as he is legally blind). But he said something strange to me yesterday when I asked him how he felt and he said"strange" and he couldn't describe what he meant. When he went to bed tonight I said Goodnight and he answered with "I.ll be here in the morning dead or alive". I know he is in a lot of pain and he never complains but I am beside myself as I think I know deep down he is near the end and I don't know how I will cope. I really feel bad for complaining as there are lots of people worse off than me but I thank God every day for this site. Good wishes for you and mum and dad xo Chris ... View more

Hi K. I was sad to read your blog but I really know what you are going through although you are a lot younger than me. My 83yr old dad was diagonised eith oesophahel cancer mid 2008 and is still here. He also had difficulty swallowing and had had to have a stent inserted. I live 6hr train trip away and I would love him to come live with me but he is so stubborn but I worry as he lives by himself. He is coming here tomorrow for a week(not long enough) and his weight has dropped to 45 kilos in last month(since he was here) but he is telling all friends when he comes to see me he knows he will gain weight.You are lucky to have both your parents- even though my mum is alive and divorced from dad she can't give me any support at all(as with my brothers). All I can say is make sure your mum knows how much you love her and really reach out to Cancer Council and this site as without them I wouldn't cope. Take care. Chris ... View more

Hi Mrs Elton. I am so so sorry for your loss today and just looking at comments you must know you are truely loved and admired on this site. You were the first to welcome me and I have followed your journey. You are a real inspiration. My thoughts go out to you and your beautiful boys please take care xo Chris ... View more

Hi guys. Thank you so much for your words of comfort.I hope I didn't mislead you but dad is coming to stay for a couple of weeks and now that I think he would agree to live here this stupid lease is stopping that from happening. Am due to ring agent again next week to see what's happening.CATS I know that dad knows how very much I love him and I know how much he loves me but he keeps telling me he hasn't got much pain but I don't believe him - I will be able to tell when he is here. Friends of his up there have told me to get a shock when I see him as he has lost 11 kilos since I last saw him(end April). And CATS I have found something to hang on to-thank God for all you wonderful people on this site and I am so lucky to have my CC councilloe ring every 2 weeks but I think I only have 1 more call left-I REALLY hope not. When dad comes down next week I'm sure we will have lovely chats and remember old times and I will try my hardest not to let him see me cry as people have said that he so afraid of how I will handle things when he goes. Thanks all for helping me. Chris ... View more

Hi Cats. I hope they do as I have had 4 emails from them today and I find it very offensive. Glad I wasn't only one ... View more