Dearest Steve... I also had no support during chemo and after. I've lost nearly all my friends. Not one has asked how I am and how I'm doing. Not only did my friends desert me my parents also did. Kicked me out of the apartment they had for me while going through chemo...they said I complained to much and  shunned me even more for taking pain pills. I had become a junkie to them. Why can people not understand this horrible disease? I am 6 months out of chemo and still feel i haven't gotten a clear answer if is gone. every time i went to dr. It was everything looks great only to go into the hospital for SOB and be told there were three lymph nodes they were still looking at. My symptoms have started again. I feel abandoned from every corner. Dealing with cancer i thought would be the worst..no..now i have neuropathy and absolutley miserable. I'm scared and fed up that i may never get back to normal.  ... View more

I have just joined Cancer Connect and as a survivor of breast cancer for 20 years, with a second scary experience (different type of cancer) about 18 months ago that required radiotherapy, I can really relate to the emotional roller-coaster that anyone who is diagnosed with cancer is forced onto. I had a complete breakdown after my treatment for breast cancer ended and despite a good prognosis from my oncologist I was absolutely convinced I was going to die very soon. I was depressed and suffered severe anxiety and had panic attacks. It took me a full year to recover enough confidence to work again and that was only with the help of a fabulous support group. I truly credit them with saving my life otherwise I think I would have 'pointed the bone' at myself. I believe the reason I broke down was because I put on a brave face while undergoing treatment because nobody every asked me how I was really doing. Things are much better these days, but 20 years ago there was no recognition of the emotional trauma I was going through. Although the oncologist, registrars and chemo nurses were very concerned about my physical health they never evinced any interest in what my support network was. I was in fact a sole parent with a disabled teenager whose father was far more interested in his new wife and her children from a previous relationship than he was in taking on some of the responsibility of caring for our child. I urge anyone who is feeling overwhelmed to get help, whether it's from a psychologist, a counsellor, a minister/priest or a cancer support group. I highly recommend support groups because everyone else there 'gets' it! Most cancer patients don't want to upset their families and make them even more frightened than they already are (then you have to deal with their fear as well as your own), but it is absolutely vital to be able to be real and hear that other people have been through or are going through a very similar experience. Sherrell, I hope that things have improved for you now that you are a bit farther away from your diagnosis and treatment. ... View more

Hi again, I hope your husband is doing ok. That is probably a stupid thing to say but you know what I mean. Is he beginning to have any difficulty with the neuropathy(in hands and feet)from the oxalipalitan yet? This has been the worst lingering side effect for me so make sure that he lets his oncologist know if it starts to kick in. I had an official meltdown at the 8th-9th treatment mark when I was just so tired of feeling ill. This was where my husband was really good and helped me through that stage and back to the clinic I went! I know it's hard if you are house proud (fortunately I'm not!) but try to keep perspective and don't stress yurself too much, if possible, if all is not how you wish it to be. It does go back to something like normal some day. From a survivor's perspective, one of the more difficult things for me was that when treatment finished it was expected that I would be back to normal asap. I was back at work (teaching) within 4 weeks, making lunches and returning to normal.The old normal has gone and while he may recover physically quite quickly, the emotional scars still seem to linger. As you said, you may be more empathetic as you have experienced severe trauma yourself and perhaps for you normal was never the same. Remember to be kind to yourself and to give yourself an occasional treat. Mine was avacado and prawns at the beach!! Take care, Samex ... View more

Hi Traveller, How are you? Well done on making it this far and getting through treatment. I've posted separately on the young BC section about friendship and survivorship. It would be lovely if your friends called or invited you to lunch or coffee etc wouldn't it - I mean how hard could that be? Treat you the same as before cancer (except that you may not be able to go out and party all day/night like you used to)- YET! What helped me (besides time) was work out what makes me happy, do the things I enjoy doing and be around people who understand cancer etc. In the process I made new friends and quality of life is much richer and meaningful. I managed to retain only a few friends (usually by email) from my life before cancer. ... View more

Hey harker It is not strange to read your post at all. I do/have used my position in small ways to get where i need to be. Not totally altruistic here, however, if something needs to be changed then it does. For instance, i have offered in my chemo head state to talk to my local rotary club. I figure if i am bald and up there talking about my experiences then people will "listen and hear" in a different way than if i was outwardly appearing normal. Now in a personally altruistic way, i might get offered a job from one of the people in rotary. Well, bit way out but you never know. At times i sit and think this is exciting and its a chance to change and do something that i really want to. At other times its scary as being ill costs a fortune despite pats etc... Thanks for your reply, its helped to put my head back in the right place. :) Julie ... View more

Hi Christine89, Your comment on cancer statistics reminded me of a check I had a couple of years ago. I have had treatment for Hodgkin's Lymphoma and I have breast cancer screening as part of my follow up routine. This particular check up my usual surgeon was away so I saw a different surgeon. I think that this person's intention was to reinforce the importance of breast cancer screening but all she managed to do was frighten me. This person felt that I was at an extremely high risk of developing breast cancer and listed all the reasons why (the complete opposite of what my radiation oncologist had said prior to commencing radiotherapy). She capped this off with the comment that "We always see this happen at the ten year mark. But don't worry, we always get the cancer in the early stages." I felt extremely frightened and upset. I felt like I was being treated like a walking doomed woman. I am now a couple of years post that particular appointment (and no I haven't developed breast cancer!). I feel very anxious whenever I do review appointments. One of the things I am trying very hard not to do is predict what might happen at my appointments. I don't know what the future holds so I really don't know that I am definitely going to get bad news. I have decided to use the same strategy with negative doctors and statistics. They do not have a crystal ball and they do not know what my future holds. Not knowing what the future holds feels ok with me sometimes. ... View more