Blogs - Page 129

It's the Grand Final day and Dennis said yesterday that he would watch the game. I guess he's now watching it from the best seat. It's hard to let him go. I'm glad I was there holding him, telling him how much I love him and it's OK to have a rest and not fighting anymore.

17/9 Appointment with NO re: scan from 13/9. Avastin doesn't work. No further treatment. Walking required efforts. 18/9 Fell after using the toilet in the evening. Crawled his way back to bedroom and struggled to climb back to bed. Noticed right foot and leg were moving oddly. 19/9 Could still walk and looked after himself. A bit confused when shower. Didn't eat much. 20/9 Appetite reduced but still eat some bread, banana, orange.

This week I have made a decision that this is not going to bother me, after a fabulous weekend off from all treatment, as I only have to do it on week days, I made the decision that the nausea is not going to be a problem, and to be honest I haven't felt sick since last Friday . I do however feel a little tired due to the radiation but that's nothing new than being a parent. I just rest when I can and power on through when I can't ..

On Monday we said a final goodbye to my beautiful sister who had fought a huge battle with cancer for most of her life. First developing breast cancer at 30, than again at 50 and then Peritoneal mesothelioma. She fought every stage of her cancers with dignity and strength and was a true inspiration to everyone around her, even her doctors and hospital staff.

It's so sad that I can't provide the best care for my partner. I wish I could make him happy by keeping him at home as he wishes. I say it's temporary only as it's all too much and I need time to see if there is anything I can do to organise the house so that he can come back to and be comfortable.

I read a good one tonight about worrying ." Don't borrow sorrow from tomorrow ".I try not to worry until I know that there is something about which to worry .