Blogs - Page 283

A blog is a shared online journal where people can post diary entries about their personal experiences. You can post a new blog entry using the buttons on the right side of this page or view the list of latest blog entries below. You can also filter these using the blog labels to find those in similar situations to you.
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If I make myself too busy because it is breaking my heart then am I less of a carer? If I get anxious when his body starts to fail and get cross at him am I to blame? If I routinely give him his meds and not just take a minute to chat does it make me hard hearted? If I at some time during the day find myself thinking about something other than cancer then do i deserve that luxury? If I sit alone and cry when he needs me the most am I being selfish? If I don't take the time to get his food right because my kids are into mischief am I being too blaze?
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Just a quick cheerio to all out there as we begin another day of life battling the dreaded "C" I suppose it's all too easy to become a little selfish and self-centered as we go through our highs and lows. I'd just like to extend my best wishes to everyone as we all struggle on. There are so many on this site who are most unwell physically and emotionally.....believe me I know all too well how this feels. So chins up people.....look at the awful 'bug' inside us with that steely determined eye and say "one day I am going to kick your arse you son of a bitch".
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Well after 6 long months of roaming around with my peg tube hanging out of my tummy (affectionately known as my "doodle")i finally had it removed yesterday. As my friends & i say i was "dedoodled!" It's a weird feeling cos even though i actually hadn't been using it for feeds for awhile i still sort of miss it. I couldn't wait till the day it was gone & although i feel sort of much lighter, i think i also feel like my comfort zone has been taken away from me.
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I am on a mission to get a retreat built in the Hinterland and was hoping for some input from the people that matter. You guys!!! I have not much idea where to start so I thought I would put it out there and see if anyone has more idea than me. Haha, I don't think that will be too hard. Sailor has already given me one lead which I have chased up and it looks like I will definately get some advice as well as possibly some funding. Anyway, here goes. Please let me know what you think.
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Hi It is after 1am and I am lying here after an exhausting day. I don't know what to do or think so I thought I would right it down. Here goes........
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