In 2011 i lost my Uncle to Squamous Tounge and neck cancer at the same time my grandmother (Uncles mum) was diagnosed with non hodgkin lymphoma, and she after treatment went into remission. My grandmother was a beautiful person who asked for nothing and gave everyone everything , as she was getting older she declined in her health in which we thought was just due to being elderly , and was admitted to hospital in November 2012, within a short few weeks things went bad really fast , we didnt expect what was coming , early December she went into a coma and passed away shortly afterwards , i stayed with her day and night during this time and refused to leave her side, it broke my heart and couldnt believe she was gone . Doctors gave the conclussion that they were sure it was cancer which caused her passing. While still mourning 2 weeks later my mum was diagnosed with non invasive breast cancer , how much more can our family endure during these times of grief and sadness, Mum then had to have two operations to remove the cancerous cells and radiation treatment, which she handled well. She was given a clean bill of health. Today while at my mums , her friend who was there also dropped the bombshell that my mum had confided in her that she has found another lump, and has known about it for a couple months but has yet to go to the doctors to be tested etc, but does have a doctor appointment in a months time. I dont think she should wait so long and wont her to go as soon as she can but she insists its nothing to worry about . Yep shes stubborn or in denial . I dont know what to do as im scared for her , do i push the issue or let her go in her own time , i dont want it to be too late if you can understand what i mean by that . Im so lost confused and hurt by this , im angry that it may be happening all over again and angry that she never told me. I dont want to loose my mum , im scared of the outcome of what may come . ... View more

Another restless night . Laying there and the mind seems to go blamk and then the flashes start , i think at times im losing my mind . The flashes are the memories of my beloved Nanna , the last days of tending her needs , i spent every day and nite there with her , and its still like yesterday, the sounds , smells, the smell is what never leaves me, a constant reminder. ... View more

Its been 7 months since my Nanna passed away, and yet it was like it all happened yesterday. People keep saying it will get easier but i cant see it, maybe i dont want it too , if things get easier does that mean im forgetting the most important person to me? I have a range of feelings still anger guilt confusion frustration just to name a few. I still dont understand to this day. Why do people ned to suffer in this life ? Life is cruel . ... View more

First off, thank you to those who have taken the time to read my posts, i cant guarentee they will make sense to you , but im just glad someone is looking and reading . Cancer has hit my family in ways ive never imagined. 7 years ago i lost my Nanna 1 to cancer , im suspecting cancer as Nanna was a private person and didnt want people to know she was ill ,we all celabrated her birthday on the 7th and on my sons birthday on the 20th nan grew her wings, i spent every day with her , reading the novel to her she never got to read herself to the end, tend to her last needs and to hold her hand. Sadly i missed her passing and she was alone , like most she waited till i had left to tend to my sons birthday and passed on . A year later my Uncle was diagnosed with squasmous cell carcinoma, treatment didnt go well with no responses, DURING this time also his mum (my nanna2) developed non hodgkin lymphoma , now this stumps me and have a hard time overcoming that both members of my family HAVING 2 DIFFERENT TYPES OF CANCER.Both continued treatment my uncles cancer took over and within the year he passed away also. Nanna2 went on to have chemo and with great happiness went into remission for 5 years , until Dec 2012, Nanna2 had been experiencing deteriation in health due to dementia, frail old age and illnesses that come with it and was admitted to hospital Nov 2012 with pnemonia, while in hospital i noticed some changes in my Nanna2 with her dementia and wellbeing, her walking deteriated quickly and she could no longer hold her own weight, test after test and nothing until a week later doctors tell us they suspect lung cancer, no tests needed to be done as they were pretty sure, i was heartbroken my nanna was not coming home now. Everyday i went to the hospital while she was alert and still with us made sure she would eat , and just sit with her , i could see the change in her eyes when i talked to her , i could tell my nanna was no longer the same , Dementia hit hard and i knew that she no longer remembered me ,i was now a stranger to her , the last thing i heard my nanna tell me was that she was scared but didnt know why . MY HEART BROKE . and even now typing this im crying my eyes out . I told her there was no need to be scared anymore and if she felt her time was nearing to let go and be free. The next day she slipped into a coma and i spent every day n night tending to her and doing the jobs that the nurses were doing for her until she grew her wings. My nanna2 was my angel on earth and when she left , a part of me died that day also .7 months later and im shattered still and cannot deal with nanna2 not being here. And yet another blow to our family my mother 2 months ago was diagnosed with non invasive breast cancer, im floored , how much more can we endure ? So doctors say Mum needs to have operation to remove lump, which she has, then to be told that she needed second surgery and that would be it, which she has, then to be told no you need to have radiotherapy which she is 3 weeks into another 2 weeks to go, my fears are that the worst will happen , i cant function as i once did as this is overcoming my life, i now fear my mum will end up with the same fate as my other family members, i cant bear for this no more. Next week im off to the doctors for testing myself , im scared shitless so to speak, im doing this on my own as i dont want to worry my mum and my kids. I dont have friends for support , hence why im here , i need support and guidence anthing to help me make it through these times ... View more