That's great to hear, wegotthis, and I'm sure your kids are proud of you. Communication with our kids is more important than some people realise. I don't ever remember having a full-on conversation with either of my parents, especially with my dad, and now that he's long gone, of course it will never happen.   I love the conversations I have with my grown up kids who are now in their thirties. We're more like mates, and we speak in a contemporary language, which includes using any type of words. They even tell me to F off occasionally, in jest, of course, and I love that type of openness, just as they know that they can be completely open about anything with me, and nothing is taboo.   Again, congrats on your relationship with your kids. Later in life, they'll all remember it.   JD       ... View more

Hi WeGotThis. good that you have some answers now. What you have and what treatments you'll be having. However, I still find this quite difficult to deal with. For me, I always seem to be waiting for another test, another test result, how the meds are working and so on.  Its almost a full time job managing the meds, tests and various doctors appointments. Whatever you decide regarding work, I hope it works out. There may be some risk associated with 'C19' in your workplace and your immune system. I believe work definitely has a place in treatment and meds recovery in that it keeps the mental focus on other things, along with good diet, active lifestyle and sleep. Stirling ... View more

Hi Malik, sorry to hear about your fathers health. Staying positive has helped me alot. However, I've been aware since I was first diagnosed that there is slim chance of remission. There are some modern treatments that have helped to reduce the tumors and in a few cases what appeared to be complete removal. The tumors have always returned in my case. I suggest that you research TACE and various kinds of 'ablation'. TACE has been the most successful for me and I've heard of some patients reieving it 3 or 4 times. The most successful of course is transplant with a very high survival rate these days. Best wishes to you and your dad. ... View more

I'm so sorry to hear about what is happening to you and your husband.  You didn't mention if you have kids or not.  I'm not a care giver but I'm a husband,father and grandfather with cancer. My responsibilities and role as head of my family didn't change because I have it. I believe my responsibilities are now more important than ever. Everything I have stood for and tried teaching my family is going to be tested.  I refuse to let this change who I'm.  In my house one is allowed to be mean. All eyes are on me. Do I really want my grandchildren to think that everything we believe as a family now doesn't matter . I believe cancer is harder on the people who loves the one with it. I see it in my wife's eyes and half smiles. She is trying hard to make this easier for me. And I hate that she is scared and unsure about our future  So I don't plan on adding any more problems for her.  Our oldest son told me the other day that he's glad that I'm the one with cancer. Because he knows I'm going to use it to make our family stronger.  Its times like this that we have to man up. I'm so thankful that my wife and kids are healthy. I  have no problems in the world as long as it stays that way.. I hope your husband does some serious research before he causes you more pain. Stage 4 doesnt mean he will die . But he's living like he has nothing to live for . There are to many people that are alive today that was told they had 6 months . Heck my doctor told my wife and I that I could still die from cancer or the treatment.  I smiled and told her that I'm alive today and that all that matters. Today is a new day.    ... View more

Ark... I personally love researching online. But you should always get professional medical advice for any uncertainty.  If you don't think your doctor is doing enough get a second opinion.  I saw my doctor almost a year ago and mentioned that I  felt like I had bugs under my skin, I felt unbalanced and just didn't feel myself.  We both kinda of brushed it off because I was just diagnosed with being pre diabetic.. I didn't even goggle my symptoms. Once I found a few lumps I started researching possible abilities. All my symptoms pointed that it could be lymphoma.  My doctor is amazing but we could have caught this almost a year early.. Get a second opinion and mention to the new doctor what you think it could be.  You wouldn't be the first person to help a doctor finger out what is wrong.  Keep us updated on what you learn.  ... View more

Karen    It brakes my heart reading your story. My biggest fear as a father and now grandfather is having to go through what you are.  I'm very thankful that I have lymphoma and not someone I love.  I believe cancer is harder on the people who care about the person with it. My only advise for you is to find someone you feel comfortable with and let out your feelings.  Sadly this is something I struggle with.  So I know its easier said than done.  I'm very involved in my church. There are times where I wish someone would push me to open up and express how im really feeling.  I leave church mad because I feel they don't care.  But I know deep down inside they love me and know I'm not very open about my personal problems.  But I'm the first person to offer to help... Please find that someone. Because you need to be a 100 % for your son. Im sure seeing you this way is not making him happy.. I wish I had a magic pill to offer you 🌹 ... View more

Sass ....Sorry to hear about your health problems.  The waiting sucks. I found myself wishing weekend's would hurry up and be done.  I'm still waiting to find out exactly what I have and what treatments I need.  I have non Hopkins but there are a bunch of sub types . They  are doing a  FISH test. So I'm still waiting.  My advice is if you can handle it do a lot of research.  But not think that you have cancer.  Think what if I have cancer.  I did so much research that when the doctor told me what I have i had no questions for her. She was surprised on well informed I was.  I have cancer.  Oh well.. There is nothing I can do about it.  But we sure have a say on how we react to the news. I refuse to let it steal a moment of joy. I don't feel like I have cancer.  I don't act like I have it. I done even talk about it unless I have to miss work.  If you are having a hard time with this find something to distance you.  Yesterday I played games with is something I never do. Just a FYI.  My cousin had 12 miscarriages. She's 45 and her husband is now 50. They are a few months away from having a daughter .  NEVER get up  HOPE. Even if I was dieing I would enjoy every day.  Stay strong and keep us updated please.  Your journey just may help someone  ... View more

Sch   How was the side effects during your treatment? I like the idea of only getting one treatment every 2 weeks.  Hope all is well with you  ... View more

Hey Darren.  Looks like you are the same age as me.  I have RCC too.  Stage IV.  I’m 18 months in.  Trust me, it gets easier to accept.  There’s a forum called Smart Patients, with a sub forum called Kidney Cancer.  I get a lot of comfort from being on there.  Some people have been battling stage IV RCC  for 15+ years with the various different treatments which re available now.   It’s more encouraging than the 5 year prognosis you will see when you hit google.   Never search cancer on google or Facebook.  That will definitely get you depressed. Stay strong my friend.  You will have years ahead of you put the path will be challenging. cheers Paul ... View more

So sorry to hear that both of your parents aren't doing well... Having to care for one parent is hard enough.   I'm just going to be open and honest with you.  I was the one who took care of both my parents when they were not doing well. My mom passed away in our house. My dad need 24 hr of professional help. So I moved him to a care facility close to my work.  I understand how hard it is to go to work knowing that they may not be alive when you get home.  The truth is even if they were healthy there is no guarantee they would see tomorrow. Thats just life.  You mentioned that you are a mom.  There is nothing wrong with your feelings. But learning how to cope and push forward for your kids sake is something you have to do.  They will be watching and learning life copping silks from you during all this.  My oldest son was to young to understand death when my father died. My father died at the age of 47 and died on my 23rd birthday.  I choose not to let it spoil my birthday's. I still wanted to enjoy my birthday and life.  By the time my mom got to the point of being sent home on hospice she was a great grandmother. All she wanted was to see and hear her grandchildren during her final days/ weeks.  Long story short her grandchildren and great children filled our house with laughter.  Sure they cried at times but they were taught at a very young age that death is something that happens.  We openly talk about their grandmother being very sick. She was going through kidney failure.  Found out she had cancer.  When through cancer treatment that increased her failing kidneys.  You may find this hard to believe. The day after my mom passed turned out to be one of the best times we had as a family.  My wife and I was on our way to make arrangements for my mom when our 11 year old granddaughter asked to go with us. We said yes.  Yes it was hard for her but she walked out of there with a smile.  The 3 of decided we would BBQ cheap hamburgers for everyone at home because my mom loved cheap hamburgers.  If laughter can be heard in heaven my mom was smiling the day after she passed.  We decide to honor her dieing wish . She just wanted the best for all of us.  Ill never forget that day.  I stood with my arm on my wife's shoulder and while fighting back tears said that our family was going to be ok... I should mention we are waiting to find out what cancer I have.  Our kids and oldest granddaughter, she's 17 now aren't freaking out. When we told them I have cancer but didn't know how bad it is their reply  was that there was no reason to freak out. Our oldest son said that as a family we were going to be ok. I didn't know that he heard me say it to my wife that day.  Funny I'll still alive but I'm watching him become the new leader of my family.  My family is going to be in good hands. I'm not a perfect father. I did teach my kids to think for themselves and we didn't protect them from reality.. What we do best: We stick together ❤  Enjoy what you have now.  If you don't mind. How old are/ is your child/ children  ... View more