Blogs - Page 192

Well, today was the day that I was meant to find out if I had made it into the trial program. I didn't find out. There is one result from the blood tests to come back. While it may not be good news, it is not bad news. You have no idea how good it felt to be not told bad news today. Every other time in the past 3 to 4 weeks that we have seen a doctor the news has just gone from bad to worse. Hopefully I find out tomorrow. Either way I start chemo on Thursday.

Well its the start of a new week and you guessed it, more tests. This time though they were the pre tests for the trial that I have been recommended for. I find out tomorrow if I made the trial or not (have fingers crossed but after the decline in news over the past three weeks am not getting my hopes up) We had a great weekend with about 14 people coming around on Saturday for a pizza and pasta night. We cooked. As per usual on these nights we cooked far too much and will be eating leftovers for a week. Mind you, I'm not complaining about it.

I read something this morning that helped. I think it was somewhere in the cancer council booklets. It went along the lines of Don't think about the life you have lived, think about the life you are yet to live. What a great thought. Back to work again today and have to say was treated a little bit like a leper to start with. Can't blame the other teachers, it must be quite difficult for them. The uncertainty of what to say or ask just in case they say something that might offend.

Day three has been pretty good - other than the school telling me that I should be away so that I can "make sure I have things organised". Sorry, but wtf?I may have been recently diagnosed with terminal cancer, but hey I am not dead yet (and don't intend to be for as long as possible). So after another round of blood tests and another CT scan, it was back to work.

Well its now day two of knowing that I have this horrible ticking time bomb. Thought I would for the first few days just write a few things as the dust settles and the world starts to clear up again.

well the results came back today and to be polite all i can say is oh shit. to sum it up metastatic adenocarinoma of the pancreas which has spread to the liver. prognosis 6 - 12 months it all seemed rather surreal having someone tell you that you probably wont see christmas of 2012 and that there really is not much of a treatment available for you. at best, i was told, they could do something to help prolong what is ultimately inevitable.