Hi M74, this certainly sounds like an extreme situation.  I think you need to check in with his treatment team and let them know what things are like at home- they will be able to advise you if the cancer or the drugs could have effected your husband's moods or caused a personality change.  If so, they could maybe prescribe something that would help him.   I belong to a facebook forum for women whose husbands have cancer ( 'Caring for Husband's with Cancer'- you'd be very welcome to join, and they are really supportive), and there have been a few instances of this kind of thing.  Our consensus is that having cancer does not give someone the right to be abusive, and that everyone deserves to live in peace and safety- including you and your kids.  There are resources out there to help you deal with this, please use them- you're not alone.    Huge big hugs, Emily ... View more

Hi Lauren, I'll say straight up that I'm not a Doctor, however my husband was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma so I'm pretty confident when I say if your blood tests were fine then you don't need to worry about lymphoma.  If it was lymphoma your white cell count would not have been normal.  Maybe you could ask for a referral to a Dermatologist (skin specialist) about your rash?    Did you mention your fatigue to your Doctor?  That may be something they can help you with- vitamin or mineral deficiencies can be common causes and are simple to treat.  I wish you improved health!  love Emily ... View more

Hi, I have no experience of prostate cancer per se, but I'm posting because I worked briefly for a Urologist who also had an interest and expertise in Andrology, and one of his areas of interest was post prostate cancer rehabilitation.  You are definitely not alone in feeling that your experience has changed you- the fact that post prostate ca rehab is a thing proves that.  Have you been linked in with an Andrologist since your treatment?  (I don't know how numerous or widespread they are, but the Dr I worked for was in Melbourne.)  If you haven't seen one, they may be able to help improve things for you.  Do let me know if you'd like further details of my former boss (if you happen to live in Melbourne), or maybe just google Andrologists in your local area.  I wish you all good things.  Emily ... View more

Hi, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.  I'm not in exactly the same situation, my husband has been in remission from stage 4 non-Hodgkin lymphoma for 7 years, but I understand what it's like to have a partner with cancer.  I don't really have any advice for what to say, but I can tell you that a number of times over the years my husband has thanked me sincerely for staying with him during all this.  He said that I had the option of leaving him and escaping this horrible situation, but I didn't.  He's been very thankful and felt very supported by this.    You've been doing the same too. I think regardless of what you or say, the fact that you are still with your partner will be so valuable to him.  Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and you've got this.  Sending huge encouraging hugs, Emily ... View more

Hi Bree and Tim,  I'm so sorry you're in this situation, but I'm glad you have found this forum.   My husband was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma in 2011, and I remember how it turned our lives upside down.  It is scary, it is painful and it is hard- you're not weak or going nuts, it really does suck that much.    The only advice I would give is that there is no right way to respond to this, so don't feel weird about your emotions.   The fact that you are posting as a couple is a great strength.  People may offer to help (the good old 'let me know if there is anything I/we can do')- take them up on it if you feel it's appropriate.  Maybe have a little list of practical things people can do (groceries, a load of washing, a lift somewhere).  It will make things easier on you, and they will feel good about being able to do something to help you.    And keep posting here!  We're all here to cheer you both on.  love and hugs, Emily ... View more

Hi Mel, I'm glad you found this forum- it's a great place to chat/vent/encourage/ask/whatever you need.  It's good to connect with people in a similar situation, as other people don't understand what it's like in the same way.  I hope tomorrow is a good day.  love and hugs, Emily ... View more

I can understand what you mean about your job just making things difficult- I'm a Nurse by training, and this has made dealing with my husband's cancer easier and harder.  There are plenty of jobs that require Nursing degrees (or benefit from this training)- would you consider changing roles?  You can still make a real difference to people's lives as a Nurse outside of a hospital, and it woud probably be so much easier for you.  It might be worth investigating, anyway.  I wish you all the best.   Emily ... View more

I think it's perfectly reasonable to feel angry under these circumstances.  I would too.  I'm glad you found this forum, it's a great place to vent with people who understand.  Sending hugs, Emily ... View more

Hi Justine, I'm so sorry you're going through this.   You're very close to my age, and I can't imagine how hard it must be to have lost your husband.  I think it's good that you can talk about your struggle- if you didn't you'd just explode.    It's possible that the cancer council would be able to link you in with some practical help (eg. someone to get your groceries or clean the house a bit, stuff like that- I'm not certain, but they seem to be a  good place to start).  If you can get a bit of assistance with practial stuff it might make things a bit easier.  And keep venting here!  We're all here to cheer each other on when things get tough.  All good wishes to you, love and hugs, Emily ... View more

Hi CATastrophe519, As well as being a member of this forum I'm also a member of a forum for women who's husbands have cancer, and this is a really common issue.  Unfortunately some people cope with bad situations by lashing out at the people that they love.  As far as a solution, only you can determine what is best for you and your relationship with your mother.  You've outlined a few different options, and you will know which one will create the best situation.   A lot of women do confront their husbands about their aggressive behaviour, but that is usually more imperative as they are living together, and sometimes there are kids involved.   You'll know what to do.   Another thing to keep in mind is your Mum's medication- there are some medications that change a person's mood and personality.  A good first step might be to ask your Mum's medical team if they think the medication may be affecting your Mum this way, that may give you some guidance about what to do next.  I wish you all good luck.   love and hugs, Emily ... View more