Hello Theresa, My own fear of death is a real bugger -- made less by a feeling of complete disbelief... this can't be happening to me! Dying is a very personal thing but I know that other people are both curious and sympathetic. Rather than upset people who really do care, I post to my blog; people can choose to read it, or not. Mostly, though, writing it all down makes me feel a lot better. Thanks for sharing, thanks for sharing the song. … Nick ... View more

Hi Tiana I am sorry to hear of your Dad's cancer diagnosis. All the best with his ongoing treatments. I'm April and my loving beuatiful husband was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer in June 2018 this year. This is the scary cancer and I find anything you google just makes you feel worse as it is usually worse case senario. Research is good as you go along on your journey with your Dad, but keep it positive as you can. Until you know the outcome there is always hope to get through this. We found the whole process like a rollor coaster of emotions as you go through the process, good advice to write down questions to ask when you go to your Dad's appointments and do this, go to them all Tiana as this is how you find out, if you dont ask questions you are in the dark most of the time which is scary. Write down everybodys names involved abd get their phone numbers of whom to contact. After your Dad has more tests done they will know more and which treatments to use. My Husband was put on Chemo straight away once they had done these tests as he needed to shrink the 4cm Tumor in the head of his pancreas so they could do surgery to remove it. So from this stage we had the chemo and lived day by day keeping our fingers crossed it would shrink. (Surgery is the best option at the moment) One time-I was working at the time Brett had his diagnosis and along the way after he had his 2nd biopsy, he contracted  Pancreatitis which was very painful and he ended up in hospital for 6 days, I kept going to work and missed every doctor that came to see him, which was awful as my Husband could not remember what they said. This was very overwhelming for me not knowing what was going on or what was going to happen next. One day I stayed home till lunch time before I went in as I had left the hospital at 10pm the previous night and when I came back he was on Insulin and being called a diabetic which he had never been before.  Good you are moving in with him and are there to help him when he needs the help. All you need to do now is give his your usual love and support and just be there for him while he finds out what he needs to do next.  Tania my hubby and I are still going through the process 6 months on, if you want to talk along the way If I can help I will be glad to hear from you, even the tiniest thing, I know what you are all about to go through and some of whats ahead but we are still learning as we go. Each case is different. Regards  April ... View more

I didn't catch the webinar, and I am in the fortunate position of being 12 months since receiving the last of the successful "curative treatment" for my stomach (actually gastro-oesophageal) cancer.   And my response below is more about "first contact" with family and friends, but I think that the idea about choosing your attitude is always good for yourself as well as other people...   In my opinion, the most important thing in discussing cancer is your attitude - be positive and informative and, where ever possible, throw in a little humour.   I try to talk about my journey in a way that encourages questions so that it becomes more of a learning experience for them. In particular, I believe that the more that we talk about the events leading up to our diagnoses, the more that other people might think about their own situations and seek assessment when something is not quite right. And hopefully it will be "nothing", but if it isn't then they can get the appropriate treatment before it gets "too late".   For me, I usually start discussions about my situation with "Apples saved my life!" or "I really can't stomach that!" followed by "No, I actually don't have a stomech!" and it just goes on from there.   Best wishes to all, Rick ... View more

Hi kareh84,   Cancer is crap, but most types have some sort of treatment protocol and new treatments are being identified all the time. We live in hope.   Be there for your sister!   Rick ... View more

Hi blueeyedjess,   Congratulations in seeking advice - you are in a tough situation.   Do a search through these forums and you will see lots of people who have had to deal with beligerant partners or parents who are going through their cancer journey. There is already a whole lot of good advice posted in these forums on this subject. But again, good on you for reaching out - a really big step in the right direction.   One thing in particular that I would suggest is trying to compartmentalise your time with your mum between that as a carer and that as her daughter. That is, love her to the max when you are there as her daughter, but then become the tough hospital matron when you are there to assist in her treatment - tell her to back off if she over steps the mark. But also let her know which role you are playing at any point in time so that she learns what she can and can't get away with.   This approach also requires you to become as knowledgable as you can about her condition, treatment and responses so that you can work out where to draw the line about what is reasonable, what isn't and consequently when you should hold your ground or give a little.   Just remember the safety instructions given when you are on an aeroplane - if the oxygen masks come down, use it yourself first before you try to help others. You can't help your mum if you are an emotional mess. Take care of yourself first and exercise your mind so that you are in a good head-space to help your mum - and that will often require you to stand your ground and tell her what she needs rather than what she wants.   Good luck and hang in there. Rick ... View more

Dawn ... View more

Thank you KateKat ☺️❤️🙏 ... View more

Hi Vivi,   If you have seen any of my prior posts, my focus tends to be on self awareness and self empowerment. So prepaer yourself because my comments below might come across as being a bit challenging.   Just to confirm...   Your partner is in QLD and suffers from anxiety and depression. Your Mum (not in QLD) is recovering from a fall while overseas in Greece and is on age pension. One brother recently got married in Greece. Another brother (not in QLD) has cancer, has a gabling problem and is on disability pension. You are on a disability pension and haven't been home to see your partner for 4 months. You love them all and wonder how you can help them all at the same time.   Simple answer is that you can't help them all at the same time. Not physically, not emotionally and definitely not financially.   Maybe having your Mum and brother with cancer coming to live with you and your partner for a while might be a solution - or it could just make things worse. It all depends on so many things: are there childern in the scene, how close are you to treatment facilities, do you have the space in your home, are the personality types compatible, does your Mum and/or brother want to move even for a short period of time?   And what support do each of your Mum and brother with cancer actually need versus they say that they want versus what you think that they need? What they really need might not require you to be physically present. Are they letting you help them simply to keep you happy, or are they really in need? How did they manage their lives prior to 4 months ago when you came to their rescues? Why is it all up to you?   In my opinion, you are better off helping your family to set themselves up so that they have access to the appropriate support and care from their own homes. And if you have something come up for youself that makes it impossible for you to be there for them? This is putting incredible pressure on you and everyone has their breaking point.   You might love your Mum and brother very dearly, but their lives are their lives - they have and will make decisions for themselves and they have to live with it regardless of the pros or cons.   Similarly, it is your responsibility to yourself to decide what (who) is most important to you. Maybe I am being a bit obscure here, but your number 1 priority should be YOU. You can't help anyone, let alone yourself, if you are not in a good headspace. There are all sorts of options available to help you get your head straight including GPs, Cancer Council support counsellers, Life Line, etc.   Other peoples' problems are not your fault. You can't be everyone's hero all the time. Just decide for yourself where you want to focus your energies at any paritcular time and get on with it knowing that you are doing your best.   If anyone tries to make you feel guilty, then they are being selfish. and you need to tell them that you will help them when you can.   Let us know how you get on.   Warm regards, Rick ... View more

All my love to you. Life is so unfair.    ... View more

HI I am certainly no expert in this field but from my experience of dealing with terminal cancer for the last 6 years is this.  For family I have decided to just be upfront and explain everything.  The first time I kept alot to myself and I found it only made it more difficult for me.  I had to watch what i said all the time.  I found that eventhough its hard and there are normally lots of tears, that in the long run it was better.  Your family can't fully help you if they are not fully informed.  I know my family were quite hurt when i kept things from them.  Hard conversations but better in the long run. For smaller family members we name my portable chemo bottle "Libby" and Libby comes to visit each fortnight and is medicine to help me stay healthy.  Thats all they really needed to know and they accept that.  Hope this helps Roselee ... View more