Hey my friend!!! Don't be so hard on yourself!!!! Your questions, feelings and concerns are justified.  I have to agree with your wife about it being in God's hands. I feel the same way about me having cancer. But I'm going to do everything in my control to postpone my trip to heaven:) I don't have any experience with what you and your family are going through. But as a husband I  can understand why you are going through up and downs with your emotions.  Do you mind me asking what kind of support do you have dealing with all this.  Are you working,taking care of the kids and wife alone? I'm a firm believer in researching. But I also know that some people prove that the doctors aren't always right.    Stay strong my friend. Don't beat yourself up if you feel negative sometimes. I have cried a few times myself because I just couldn't pretend everything was going great for me.    ... View more

KD I'm so sorry how things are going for you and your husband.  You definitely have been though a lot and still dealing with a lot.  It brakes my heart to hear that your husband wasn't very supportive.  Sounds like you need a break from cancer and your husband. Is there anyone that you could ask to stay with him so that you can have a day to yourself.  My wife hasn't spent much time researching my cancer. It's not that she doesn't care. She's happier knowing less about it. She knows that is a chance that treatment isn't going to cure me or that I could develop a second cancer later. Honesty I only asked her to do one thing for me. I asked her not to cry in front of me. I'm very fortunate that she is welling to do anything for me.  Have you tried seeing it there is a local cancer support group. A lot of support groups are meeting online now days.  Do you mind me asking what did you do before you retired.  ((((((((Hug)))))) ... View more

Lol.....small world for sure.  My mom and dad are from OK. Most of my mom side of family is still in Lawton.  I love being a grandfather but I would love to see great grandchildren.  But not anytime soon. Our oldest granddaughter is only 17. Wr are hoping she comes to live with us while she goes to college.  Thanks again for giving us 20 years of service.  Funny that you mentioned Redding. I was looking to retire and move out that way.  Because of my health early retirement isn't going to happen anytime soon.  I'm only 55 but I have no desire to work more than 5-6 more years 😁 ... View more

John    Glad to hear that things are improving for you. Any kind of shrinkage is good 👍  People can be strange at times. Especially family.  I guess you could say I have a decent amount of family and friends. But honestly I only care about 12 people's opinions about me. I have a wife, 4 kids and 4 grandchildren. Lol.. So that means my Aunt Sandy and 2 niece are the only ones that I would spend any energy on.... I hope you have a great Christmas  ... View more

Really glad to hear that you had a good day.  Some days are definitely better than others i get my chemo every 3 weeks on a Wednesday. Thursday I can work all day but Friday I'm useless and in bed all day.  4 more treatments to go!! Cancer definitely has its up and downs.  I have always planned on donating my organs but because of having cancer and getting treatment they are pretty much useless. So I have decided to donation my body to science. After they are done they will cremated me and give my ashes to my family. And its for free 😁 My family can do whatever they want with my ashes. I don't care if they flush them down the drain.  I have told everyone about it so no one has to make a decision about what to do.  If I die from cancer or a car accident tomorrow I'm ready.  You want to hear something funny.  I have my mom,dad and father Inlaw ashes at my house. I don't know what to do with my parents. My mother Inlaw wants us to wait until she passes before we do anything with my father Inlaw... ... View more

Hey my friend.  Sorry to hear about your health.  First t I want to thank you for your service ❤ Also cancer has no borders. Im also in the USA.  Im actually in Vallejo Ca.  I really wish I could say I been married to my wife for 55 years but I'm only 55 🙂 As a husband I do understand you being worried about your wife. I was a married father before I was 20. But unfortunately I wasn't a good husband .  Fortunately I  changed and meet my wife  22 years ago. Together we raised our 4 children to become amazing young adults . We now have 4 grandchildren.  When I told our oldest son about me having cancer his first reply was that it doesn't change anything. My wife isn't hs birth mom.  But he was only 13 when I met her. We don't have step children. He loves her as much as he does me. He is more than ready to take my role as the head of my family. If I die from cancer or a a car accident my wife will be taking care of.  When we found out that I have lymphoma the only thing I asked my wife to do was please don't cry in front of me. I can't handle seeing my wife and family crying. I'm pretty hard core but I'm weak when it comes to my family crying.  Stay positive. Even if your doctor tells you that you only have months or a year left.  What branch did you serve with?  Do you and your wife have children and grandchildren?  WEGOTTHIS!!! ... View more

Cindy    Sorry to hear about your mom passing.  My father died on my 23rd birthday.  My mother came home and died in my bedroom from kidney failure.  When I was 12 my mom left my dad and moved out of state without telling me.  She left my 10 year old brother and I.  My dad became a suicidal alcoholic.  My mother remarried . Had a new family. So did my dad. But either one of my parents had room for my brother and I. We were pretty much left to take care of ourselves. We drifted from one family member to another.  I quit school when I was 17 to work and raise my brother.  I hated my parents. I became a dad at 19. To make this story shorter.  Because I was a father I didn't have time to worry about my parents  and the past . Seriously think about this.  Everytime we waste worrying about things we can't change takes away the joy we have.  When both of my parents needed help I was there to take care of them. I did it more because they once were great parents.  I choose to remember the great things they did as parents. I  learned what not to do from there mistakes.  I'm now a 55 year old married grandfather.  I have a rare blood cancer that I getting treatment for.  You may find this hard to believe but my family and I don't worry about it.  Our adult kids have families and children to worry about and take care of.  I have always taken the job as a family leader and role model seriously . My family is handling my health problems well because I'm also. They know that I have a great chance of beating this. But they also know that in the future that it may come back.  I wish everyone would talk to our oldest son about my cancer. He would tell everyone that he doesn't care or is worried about it.  He has learned that he can't control everything that happens in life. He's to busy enjoying his awesome wife and daughter's.  He is a much better man and dad than I'm.  Ask him my he is 🙂 I hope you find away to move pass what is troubling you.  Sounds like you have great reasons to enjoy life because you are a mom. God welling one day you'll be a grandma.  There is ony one thing more enjoyable than the sounds of happy laughing children.  And that is the day you become a grandparent... ... View more

Sass   I love to research so I did a little digging around.  I always like to start with something positive.  When you have time read this.  https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/kidney-cancer/kidney-cancer-diagnosis I really hope that you will find out that you don't really have any thing serious to worry about. Sounds promising ❤ ... View more

Me3   First of all great job talking care of your mother Inlaw. My wife was amazing when my mom came home to finish out her final day's.  I definitely love her more for doing it. I understand your concern about having her around your children. We were advised because of my chemo treatments to double flush after I use the bathroom. My wife acts like my bathroom is a death chamber. From my research and doctors advice the first 2 days we should be careful.  Do you have any other family that could take care of her that is close by? Sounds like you are stuck in a ruff situation. But in the end you have to put your children first. Im sure your mom will understand that you have to make other arrangements.  The only reason why my wife and I haven't packed up and left the state we live in is because my mother Inlaw doesn't want to leave with us. We just learned that she is having health issues 😓 . I would research and print out as much information you can find about the risks to your family. Make sure you and your husband have talked it over and support the discussion that you come up with. Maybe have a nurse or doctor talk to her.  My heart hurts for you and your family.    ... View more

Skip   Sorry to hear about your health and your husband.  As a son of a alcoholic it breaks my heart to hear about your husband. My father died on my birthday when he was only 47 years ago.  He never got to enjoy being a grandfather.  I'm 55 now and still don't understand his life chooses. But I did learn from them. I finally got to the point in my life where I wasn't afraid to become like him. But I have decided not to drink anymore. It never was a problem for me. I haven't had hard alcoholic in 12 years or any alcoholic since my mom passed 6 years ago. I would love to talk to your husband about how he is going to be remembered by his kids. My father was prefect until he became a drunk.  I struggle with remembering the good side of him. He became a abuses alcoholic. That how I remember him. I want my kids and grandchildren to remember me as someone who was always honest, firm and loving. My grandfather once told me all we ever take to our grave is our name.  But please don't think I'm judging your husband.  You sound like a awesome woman.  You definitely have a lot going on right now.  Like Linda I would also like to know how old are your kids?  I can't imagine going through all you are and having to worry about young children.  Ill be praying for you.  Please keep us updated as best you can. 🌹 ... View more