Blogs - Page 153

Today I did heaps and I must say too much.....tonight I am in so much pain and have learnt the hard way - when u feel better rest is still required.

Today I got to do a few things myself and darn did it feel good. After my lobectomy I have not been able to have a proper shower due to surgery wound sites and staples. A shower for last few weeks was only a half body and all my wounds needed covering with plastic + tape as they could not get wet. Today I got to have a real shower and wash my hair. I know that sounds very princess but I can't believe how much self care means to our mental health. And I got to do it independently.

I don't think there is anything positive about GBM. Having to be positive I try to focus on the good side of it. Let's see how many I can come up with. - Getting stronger after being knocked over again and again and having to rise and ready for the next day. - Good exercise for my brain, having to do research and reading about the new area that I didn't go to the uni. for. - My partner spends more time with his family. - I don't put on weight even I eat and drink well quite often.

This morning as I woke up I realised how many pills I am currently taking and wonder the long term affects of these on my liver, kidneys, heart and my mental health. - Panadol (to keep temp down) - Omeprazole (reflux) - Oxycontin (pain management after surgery) - Multivitamin - Pramin (nausea) - Antibiotic (to stop chance of infection).

I am so thankful simply to be still alive, but coping with the effects of surgery and radiotherapy is not easy. I am surprised that I have so much on-going pain in all areas: face/neck, arm/wrist/hand, thigh. I am also frustrated with my physical restrictions and fatigue. I want to do lots of things but need to rest after doing basic things like household chores.

2012 has been a huge year for myself and my finance - some great ups and many downs. We started the year announcing our engagement and were on top of the world. It is so hard to see how we ended up here. When I actually look back now I can see a clear picture of when my illness was arising. In Feb I attended the GP as I had been tired, losing stacks of weight and coughed up some blood. Being an ex-smoker the GP sent me for chest scans and on the first CT scan they found the lesion.